Walking Across Italy

Many of you know that I have been doing some work for the DudeWipes brand, so this topic will not come as a surprise — toilet paper. I have come to the realization that you can tell a lot about the personality of a country by looking at the toilet paper in an airport. I justify this epiphany with my recent experiences on the way to Italy.

First stop, CVG airport where the TP is quite representative of the predominant American 1-ply toilet tissue (it is so thin, you can read the newspaper through it). I suggest that this demonstrates the American preoccupation with conspicuous consumption. Just like 7-11’s Big Gulp , McDonald’s Supersized French Fries, and everything sold at Costco, this toilet paper requires that you use a lot, to get the job done. How else could we keep the economy going?

Next stop, the restrooms at the Munich airport. Here one finds a thick, durable, and very rigid toilet paper that could stand up to any mess, but has little flexibility or comfort. I suggest that this captures the typical German personality which prioritizes function and efficiency, over more intangible virtues.

Lastly, I offer the italian toilet paper found in the Air Dolomiti airplane (see example below).

This paper is relatively thin, feels rough to the touch, but sports a comforting floral pattern, (designed to transport you to the great outdoors while you do your business). I contend that this toilet paper represents the italian fascination with fashion over function. The designer probably told his boss, “we can sell cheap toilet paper, if we put a pretty picture on it”. Needless to say, to the more discerning American butt, this paper leaves a lot to the imagination.

Now you may or may not agree with my revelation that TP is indicative of a country’s culture, but one thing is indisputable — when it come to cleaning up poop, “wetter is better”.